Breaking the Fog: Finding Clarity in Overwhelming Times

When life throws us into stress and change, it can feel like we’re stuck in a muddle of emotions. It’s a bit like pulling out a necklace you haven’t worn for years, only to find the chain knotted up. You try to loosen it with your fingers, but they’re too clumsy. You grab a needle and think you’ve finally made progress—only to tug too hard and make the knot even tighter.

That’s how overwhelm often works. The more we push and struggle against it, the tighter it grips us. Negative thoughts take over, and soon we start believing we’ll never find a way forward.

Step One: Break the Fog

The way through isn’t by trying to fix everything at once. It starts with pulling things back to the present moment—focusing only on the here and now, not the weeks ahead. Forget what might need to happen in a fortnight. Instead, ask: What can I do in the next couple of days?

A good first move is to put pen to paper. Write down the emotions swirling in your head, without judgement. Just get them out where you can see them. This simple act often brings a surprising sense of release.

Grounding Through Small Actions

Once you’ve named what you’re feeling, turn to small, grounding tasks in your everyday environment. These don’t have to be big or dramatic—just things that bring a little order and calm.

• Clear out a few things you don’t use anymore.

• Make a grocery list for the next few days and start shaping a simple budget that takes into account extra costs on the horizon, like lawyers’ fees.

• Rearrange a wardrobe, tidy a drawer, or get out in the garden.

• Focus on the kids’ activities, or arrange time with grandparents so you can catch your breath.

These actions might seem small, but they matter. They help clear mental space, give you a sense of control, and let you feel good about doing something for yourself.

Creating Safe Space

In any stressful time—and especially during divorce—making space for yourself is vital. Boundaries create clarity. It’s a tough truth, but the person you once lived alongside is no longer there to look after your wellbeing. Protecting yourself and carving out that safe space is not selfish; it’s the very first step towards moving forward with strength.