The meaning of a divorce or any other life changing event

Divorce – the act of legally ending a marriage.Separation – the action or state of moving or being moved apart.

The definition of these words sounds rather simple and clear. Something just ended. But what really happened?

No matter what life-changing event you are trying to find your way through, it is not just about moving apart from the situation you were in before. It is that the situation no longer exists. And when something no longer exists, the question becomes: what exactly has disappeared?

With a divorce, it isn’t only the separation from a partner. Far more is lost. You lose your family as it once was, the partnership, the shoulder to lean on, the trust, the identity you held as part of that “us.” You might lose a dream, a sense of security, the vision of a future you thought you were building. In life-changing events, so much is stripped away that it can feel like the death of a life that once was. Something within you dies too — and what follows is grief.

Yet, grief is often pushed under the rug. We live in a world that constantly tells us to “move on,” to get over it quickly, to put on a brave face. But grief is not weakness. Grief is love, attachment, safety, and hope — all suddenly torn. It is the ache of absence, the empty chair at the table, the silence where laughter used to live.

I believe grief must be lived, not avoided. It must be given space, because it is only through acknowledging the depth of loss that we can truly let go. Within the depth of loss emerges a sense of “I need to learn how to walk again.” And from there, it is baby steps — small, shaky, but determined. Each step is part of rebuilding faith, strength, and, most importantly, love for oneself.

With every ending, we often find ourselves back in a place that feels similar to where we were before stepping into the situation we just lost. In that space, many unconscious beliefs — about ourselves and about life — begin to surface. These beliefs, shaped by past experiences and even childhood, rise through the cracks of loss and can cloud our vision of the future.

In my work, I see how vital it is to gently shift these beliefs, so that every practical step forward can be approached with more consciousness and awareness. This creates not just movement, but growth — allowing each person to rebuild as a more fulfilled and authentic individual.